Life

Throwin’ it way back – Fake it til you make it

So I have a confession to make: I’ve tried this blogging thing once or twice before. I’ve always had something to say (my mom and husband can totally vouch for that), but for whatever reason – or, more like a billion small reasons – I never really stuck with it. But as I was looking through some of my old content, searching for something still relevent, I found this gem from almost 8 years ago, my pre-graduate self; I had no idea what I was in for, but I was pretty sure it was going to be one hell of a ride. Enjoy πŸ™‚

As I face the last 70 days of my college career, my brain is a little frazzled. Every time I reflect on the stress of keeping up with six classes, trying extremely hard to resist senioritis and scrambling to map out a plan once December comes along, I feel dizzy and nauseous. About eight months ago a friend of mine (who recently graduated in May) summed it up in one simple statement: “We’ve been in school all our lives; of course the real world is scary as shit.” And that’s exactly what it is: scary as shit.
I have been lucky enough to be surrounded with competent and caring professors that coach their students on how to build a portfolio and how to knock your first interview out of the park, but what about all the other things that along with the transition from college to career? There’s house-hunting (apartment hunting for most of us), adjusting to a new city (or sometimes a different country/state), figuring out the best commute route and learning how to deal with life away from most of the friends you’ve enjoyed the last four to 12 years with. I’ve come to the conclusion that professors don’t mention these things because it sucks and there is really no getting around it. Yes, I’m saying this from someone who has yet to actually experience all above things, but I just don’t see any other outcome.

I pride myself on being a strong-willed and independent individual, but when push comes to shove, sometimes I really just want to curl up next to my mommy and hear her tell me everything will be OK. And then I realize that the fact that I’ve had so many caring people encourage me along the way may be all I need. If I’ve made it this far, why would I not make it all the way?

Maybe that’s what life is all about. Learning the hard way so we can one day teach our children how to make the best decisions possible, only to have them turn around and ignore us and learn the hard way themselves, of course.

For now, it’s kind of comforting to be scared because it means that I still care and have not been jaded by our crazy, chaotic world. It means that I do believe in my dreams and want to succeed more than anything. It means that my family did something right along the way and that, in the end, I’m going to be OK. I hope.

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